Church Hopping

"Say what you will about organized religion. Those bastards knew how to construct an edifice.” -Ron Swanson, Parks & Recreation.

Screw it. 2 intros. I just found this song yesterday and I like it.

Rome is a very religious city. Naturally, it has a lot of churches, and most of them are open to the public when they're not doing worship services. A fun thing to do is to go church-hopping: going from church to church across the city. That may not sound like a lot of fun if you're familiar with the ordinary-looking churches in the US, but here, they're a main attraction.

The churches in Rome are ridiculous. Walk into any church in Rome and I guarantee you'll be impressed. And I do mean any church. Even the less elaborate ones are still insanely beautiful and blow away anything I've ever seen in the US.

You walk into one church and are impressed at how lavish, ornate, and beautiful it is:

You think you're in the most beautiful church you've ever seen. Then you walk into the one a couple blocks down the street and see this:

OH MY GOD, CATHOLIC CHURCH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? THAT'S INSANE. NONE OF THAT IS FAKE GOLD.

I've gotten in the habit of laughing when I walk into a new church just because of how ridiculous and over-the-top each one is. I imagine the early modern Catholic Church as John Hammond from Jurassic Park constantly bragging that he, "spared no expense" in his park. Of course, his dinosaurs ended up escaping and killing people. You could probably make an analogy out of that, but I'm not going to.

It feels like churches in Rome were built for the specific purpose of topping each other, like its builders were compensating in the same way people with huge, lifted pick-up trucks are (and knowing the history of the Catholic Church, I think it's safe to assume that's at least somewhat true). I can see why many during the Renaissance criticized the Church for its excess. I mean, look at this and then look me in the eye and tell me this isn't excessive:

San Carlo al Corso, my favorite church in Rome. This and the
previous picture were taken there.

Inside the gold thingy was the remnant of one
Saint's heart

Each church has between 6 and 12 different altars on the side to complement the main sanctuary. Sometimes they're just pretty altars and other times they're dedicated to a particular Saint, or to Christian martyrs from a particular place.

I've seen a few resting places of famous Saints as well, but I don't know enough about them for it to mean much to me (Protestants doesn't revere saints). There were signs that explained what everything was, but I couldn't read any of them because they were all in Italian. I really wanted to and ask someone about the history of the church, because I'm sure it would add to the spectacle that's already there, but I don't know the language well enough. Even if I could ask, I don't think I could understand them well. I'm not at that point yet.

Oh, nothing. Just some Renaissance masterpiece
art on the ceiling. Just an average Tuesday.

Each church also has a little table where religious pamphlets, candles, rosaries, and even postcards are sold. I'm not sure whether or not these booths were affiliated with the Church or not, but it was a little weird seeing makeshift gift shops inside a place of worship. I have a feeling they're also partly there to monitor the church and make sure nobody starts vandalizing the art, but I couldn't help thinking it was a way for the Catholic Church to make a quick buck, especially when I'm standing in a Vatican-endorsed church that's at least 100 feet tall, covered in stunning art, and lined with gold.


If you're in Rome, I highly recommend going church-hopping. It's a great way to get to know the city, and you won't see more beautiful art anywhere else. The churches sometimes grossly excessive, but absolutely breathtaking in equal or greater measure. Just forget the questionable church policies that created them and appreciate them as the works of art they are.