Meeting My Arch Nemesis: Italian McDonald's

Ignore the fact that this is actually about relationships

Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.
I broke one of my cardinal rules of traveling: don't eat at a chain restaurant.
I also broke of of my guiding principles in life: don't eat at a fast food chain unless there are no better options.
I ate at a McDonalds in Rome.

Before you call me a sellout and rightfully question my decision-making, let me just say that I did this purely for the experience. I've heard McDonald's is different around the world and it looked radically different than any McDonald's I'd ever seen before.

"What do you mean by that?" you may ask. I mean it looks like this inside:

And there's a balcony:

So with curiosity and some encouragement from a slightly less than sober roommate, I decided to go and document my experiences. I went twice; once with my roommates during dinner and again a few weeks later during lunch.

Keep in mind it's been about 4 years since I've been in McDonald's for any reason other than to use the bathroom and it's been even longer since I've ordered anything from one, so my comparisons are based on old memories.

If it weren't for the Italian, could you tell the difference?

Once you get inside, the counter looks familiar and ordering works the same way it does in the US. The menu is sprawled out on signs behind the cashiers. They had the typical fare: burgers, fries, milkshakes, sodas, chicken nuggets, etc. The only item I saw that was different was beer. Yeah, they sell beer at Italian McDonalds.

McDonald's is surprisingly pricey in Italy. A standard burger or a meal costs €7-8. That's still not super expensive, but I feel like it definitely costs more abroad. Normally I can get a killer panino or plate of pasta €6-7 max, so that's also what I'm used to. Since I wanted to spend as little as possible while committing this foodie sin, I opted for the value menu.

I ordered a McBeer because I felt like I had to just to say I did. I also ordered a chickenburger off the value menu, and I got an order of fries when I went back during lunch because I wanted to experience a "complete" meal.

The chickenburger & beer

The Chickenburger is a chicken patty with mustard on a bun. Its stripped-down nature is the price you pay for, well, not paying the full price. The first thing I tasted while biting into this thing was the cheap, dry, almost papery bun. It felt like the bun was pushing the definition of "bread" a little because I'm pretty sure actual bread shouldn't taste like paper. The patty tasted like one of McDonald's chicken nuggets, just thinner and wider. I'm not entirely sure it's purely chicken, but it tasted vaguely like chicken between the blandness. It was one of those things where you end up tasting the texture more than the flavor. Then you got to the mustard, which was a gross, greenish sort of thing. You could tell they were aiming for a mustard-like flavor, even if they didn't meet their goal. It added a new flavor, but I'm not sure that's a good thing. It tasted about how I remember it tasting in America and reminded me why I never go to McDonald's. I thought the food might be different in Europe, but I guess standardization is key for big corporations. Overall, it was bland, cheap, and a little gross-- about how I view fast food in general.


The fries were a surprise. On a french fry scale of "basically just crispy, fried potato" to "potato wedges," these fries were definitely more towards the "basically just crispy, fried potato" end. There was not a ton of potato inside, but they were pretty crispy and tasted kind of potato-y. They were a bit bland, but they definitely got better when I put some salt on them. I could tell they were low quality and not exactly made with fresh ingredients, but they were decent and tasted about like the ones I've had in the US. Granted, it was about 1:45 and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast when I had these, so my hunger may have exaggerated my feelings towards them a little, but I've had worse fries.

I was severely disappointed that the beer wasn't called a McBeer or a McBrew. It was a can of Birra Moretti, which is one of the cheap, standard Italian brands. The first thing I noticed was the lack of carbonation. Like, it was there, but only barely. I'm not a huge carbonation fan, but it still felt a little wrong. The beer was watery and lacked a little in flavor, especially with the aftertaste, but it was still pretty drinkable. However, before my 21st birthday in March, I had never had a beer, so maybe I haven't tried enough of them for my standards to be too high yet. Still, I thought it was decent. It was one of the better parts of the experience and I can now definitively say I've had a beer at McDonald's, even if it was a letdown that it wasn't called a McBeer.

When we first came for dinner, the restaurant was not that busy, but by the time we left, around 8:30-8:45, the restaurant had filled in quite a bit. Italians eat late, so this isn't too much of a surprise. During dinner, there were several families with small kids, 3-4 couples, two pairs of friends, a couple groups of young, hipster-esque guys, and one man sitting by himself.  During lunch, there were 7 or 8 people sitting alone who looked like they were out on lunch breaks, two moms with young kids, a couple groups of young friends, and a few couples. Interestingly, most of the customers were relatively young, and no one looked, at least from simple observation, like they were poor, disheveled, or obese, which are three things you expect to see at an American McDonald's.

The atmosphere was the best part of Italian McDonald's. The restaurant has several large bar-like tables plus a few small two-person tables and a good amount of booths.. There's also a nice outside area with a few tables, an umbrella, and a space heater. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go up on the balcony. It was closed when I went for dinner and when I started walking up the stairs during lunch, the door was locked and an employee shot me a look of, "sorry, man." It had been raining earlier in the day, so maybe that was why it was closed. The way it was designed, it seemed like more people ate the food there than took it home.

The restaurant is really bright and colorful inside and had an olive green/brown/white theme that splashed the walls, tables, and chairs. It felt more like I was in a Panera than a McDonald's and it gave it a fun, almost artsy and upscale vibe to it. Both times, I sat at a long bar-like table in the center of the restaurant that had a power strip for people to plug phones and laptops into. There was EDM playing in the background during dinner and then standard radio songs during lunch. It seems like McDonald's here puts effort into creating a bit of an atmosphere.

Italian McDonald's is basically an American McDonald's plus beer and minus the despair, obesity, and poverty. Overall, it was the worst meal I've had in Rome, though Rome sets an extremely high standard. If you must go, get the beer and fries, but steer clear of the main courses. I hope this is the last time I order food at McDonald's for a long, long time.

Ok, you made it through the fast food. As a reward, here's a picture of a delicious plate of pasta with parmesan and cream sauce:

From Il Pastaio di Roma, one of the places you should go in Rome

More Notes on Rome

Song

You know those movies or books that are basically just a collection of short stories or vignettes, loosely united by a common theme? That's this post. Imagine me as Tarantino minus the cartoonish violence.

Rush Hour- Growing up in Los Angeles, I'm no stranger to traffic, but Rome's rush hour is pretty insane. I normally walk to class instead of take the tram because it's cheaper and the exercise justifies the plate of carbonara I'm most likely going to shove down my throat during lunch, but I've had the (dis)pleasure of being a part of Rome's rush hour a couple times. I live in Trastevere, which is a neighborhood West and across the river from the center of town. In the morning, every street on my route to class, in the center of town, is gridlocked. Cars try to squeeze through any way they can on the narrow streets, creating lots of honking and near misses.

The train on a day I walked to class.

         "Wow, that sounds bad, Noah," you're probably saying, "but you should take the train and you'll be fine, right?" Wrong. One time, I was going to take the train to class with a few classmates. The train showed up and it was so full that it was physically impossible for me to get on, even when everybody squished in as far in as they could. There was nothing I could do. I'm not small and neither is my backpack, so as the train doors closed and departed with my classmates inside, I was left at the station. It felt like one of those old movies when someone says goodbye to somebody leaving on the train, except it was more of an, "oh crap. I guess I'm walking" reaction instead of a teary, heartbreak-filled goodbye.
           However, this only seems to be a problem outside of the downtown touristy area. Once I got to the center of town (this was about 9 AM), the streets were surprisingly empty. I guess the tourist area doesn't get busy until later in the day.

Cappuccinos are the best. Never let anyone tell
you otherwise.

Coffee- Coffee culture is everywhere and I love it. Every restaurant or snack bar has coffee, every street vendor sells espresso makers, and I've even seen a few coffee vending machines. This all means that I haven't had a bad cup since I've been here (I'm not doing that cup I had on the plane the decency of calling it "coffee"). Cappuccinos have become my drink of choice. For those of you who don't know, it's a shot of espresso with warm, foamy milk (and sometimes cocoa powder) on top. It's simple, but delicious. It's cheap as hell too. The most I've paid for coffee here is €1.5, which, even with the exchange rate, is still cheaper than any halfway decent cup of coffee I could get in the US. Granted, the portions are smaller since coffee and espresso mean the same thing here, but it doesn't matter because it's so good and these little shots of espresso pack a punch in terms of caffeine. One shot of espresso does me just as well as a 16 oz drip coffee. Unfortunately for me, an avid iced coffee drinker, it's a lot harder to find cold coffee. It exists and is called either a freddo (basically sweet cold brew espresso) or a shakerato (made by shaking ice, sugar, and hot espresso together in a cocktail shaker), but they're usually a little more expensive and harder to find.

Have a generic crowd shot for lack of anything else relevant

Clothing- People seem put a lot more effort into fashion here than they do in America. The Romans dress well and seem make an effort to look nice and put together outfits. As someone who puts next to no effort into fashion as it is, I feel a bit underdressed. This is especially true when I wear shorts. Wearing shorts is a great way to immediately be identified as a tourist. The only people I've seen wearing shorts, even in warmer weather, are foreigners. The only Italians who don't have their legs covered are women wearing skirts and children. Ever since I realized this, I've tried to wear long pants when I can and when it isn't too hot, but since the rest of my wardrobe consists of t-shirts and tennis shoes, I still look like an underdressed foreigner. Part of me wants to try to dress the part of a European a little more, but the other part of me knows I don't have money to burn (I'd rather spend it on food) or an adequate knowledge of fashion to make it happen.

Sandwich with chicken, pork, lamb, and chicory. Oh god yes

The Standard of Food: One of the things I've noticed is that in Italy, the standard of food seems to be much higher than in America. There are very few chains, meaning every other restaurant is locally owned. This makes me happy. There also seems to be an emphasis on fresh ingredients and local products. It's like this place was made for a food lover/hipster like me. Both of these things make a huge difference in the quality of food (free cooking tip while I'm at it: Fresh ingredients absolutely matter). Even the more average meals I've had here are as good as the above average ones in America. Though I still try to go to the highest-rated places, there's much less of a risk at ending up getting a subpar meal than if you wander into any restaurant in the US. I'm not going to lie, the food is probably my favorite thing about Rome.

The Communist Party door I mentioned. I love the fact that it's
red. It's so cool, it's Com-rad. I'll see myself out.

The Presence of Communism- In America, thanks to Mr. McCarthy and others, "communist" and "socialist" have (unjustly) become dirty words few are willing to publicly associate with. However, the only Red Scare in Italian history was called "fascism," and we all know how well that went over. Therefore, Communism doesn't have the stigma it does in America, so it's still alive and kicking. It's pretty common to see the sickle and hammer graffitied on walls when you're out walking, and I've also seen some campaign posters for Communist politicians. On my way to class, I also pass by an office for the Communist Party, sitting there amongst the gelato shops and a gift stores on a big street. It's something that shouldn't surprise me but does. Communism is such a taboo thing in American politics that I've been led to believe it's a dead philosophy nobody but extremists believe in any more. That may be true in the US, but definitely not in Italy.

Taken in downtown Naples, on one of the major streets. 

Crosswalks- Pedestrian signals are completely arbitrary. Crossing the street is all about being opportunistic. There are pedestrian signals (which look like stoplights, but with a pedestrian silhouette), but following them might actually be more dangerous than just jaywalking. Often times, the light will be red but no traffic is coming, so it's perfectly safe to go. Other times, the signal is green, so you step out in the street and almost get run over by a Porsche, a taxi, and 3 motor scooters, who all honk at you to get out of their way. For big roads, the signals do help, but in general, it's best to disregard the signal and cross when others cross or when there's no traffic coming. Roman drivers also think they own the road and won't hesitate to honk at you or speed past you when you're a foot or two away. I never want to drive here. I feel like I'd get in a crash within a week, and I consider myself a pretty good driver.

I take classes in this building.

Classes- Oh yeah, those. That's right, Noah's actually doing studying in Europe and not just taking a 3 month vacation. Kinda forgot, right? I'm taking one about 20th century Italian history through film and one about Early Modern Europe. They're alright, though it's hard when they have to cram a quarter's worth of work into 5 weeks. If you thought the quarter system was fast-paced, try this on for size. Because of this tight schedule, the classes are 3 hours long. I don't care how interesting the class is--that's brutal. Oh, and I'm procrastinating on them by writing this post. Whoops.

Church Hopping

"Say what you will about organized religion. Those bastards knew how to construct an edifice.” -Ron Swanson, Parks & Recreation.

Screw it. 2 intros. I just found this song yesterday and I like it.

Rome is a very religious city. Naturally, it has a lot of churches, and most of them are open to the public when they're not doing worship services. A fun thing to do is to go church-hopping: going from church to church across the city. That may not sound like a lot of fun if you're familiar with the ordinary-looking churches in the US, but here, they're a main attraction.

The churches in Rome are ridiculous. Walk into any church in Rome and I guarantee you'll be impressed. And I do mean any church. Even the less elaborate ones are still insanely beautiful and blow away anything I've ever seen in the US.

You walk into one church and are impressed at how lavish, ornate, and beautiful it is:

You think you're in the most beautiful church you've ever seen. Then you walk into the one a couple blocks down the street and see this:

OH MY GOD, CATHOLIC CHURCH. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? THAT'S INSANE. NONE OF THAT IS FAKE GOLD.

I've gotten in the habit of laughing when I walk into a new church just because of how ridiculous and over-the-top each one is. I imagine the early modern Catholic Church as John Hammond from Jurassic Park constantly bragging that he, "spared no expense" in his park. Of course, his dinosaurs ended up escaping and killing people. You could probably make an analogy out of that, but I'm not going to.

It feels like churches in Rome were built for the specific purpose of topping each other, like its builders were compensating in the same way people with huge, lifted pick-up trucks are (and knowing the history of the Catholic Church, I think it's safe to assume that's at least somewhat true). I can see why many during the Renaissance criticized the Church for its excess. I mean, look at this and then look me in the eye and tell me this isn't excessive:

San Carlo al Corso, my favorite church in Rome. This and the
previous picture were taken there.

Inside the gold thingy was the remnant of one
Saint's heart

Each church has between 6 and 12 different altars on the side to complement the main sanctuary. Sometimes they're just pretty altars and other times they're dedicated to a particular Saint, or to Christian martyrs from a particular place.

I've seen a few resting places of famous Saints as well, but I don't know enough about them for it to mean much to me (Protestants doesn't revere saints). There were signs that explained what everything was, but I couldn't read any of them because they were all in Italian. I really wanted to and ask someone about the history of the church, because I'm sure it would add to the spectacle that's already there, but I don't know the language well enough. Even if I could ask, I don't think I could understand them well. I'm not at that point yet.

Oh, nothing. Just some Renaissance masterpiece
art on the ceiling. Just an average Tuesday.

Each church also has a little table where religious pamphlets, candles, rosaries, and even postcards are sold. I'm not sure whether or not these booths were affiliated with the Church or not, but it was a little weird seeing makeshift gift shops inside a place of worship. I have a feeling they're also partly there to monitor the church and make sure nobody starts vandalizing the art, but I couldn't help thinking it was a way for the Catholic Church to make a quick buck, especially when I'm standing in a Vatican-endorsed church that's at least 100 feet tall, covered in stunning art, and lined with gold.


If you're in Rome, I highly recommend going church-hopping. It's a great way to get to know the city, and you won't see more beautiful art anywhere else. The churches sometimes grossly excessive, but absolutely breathtaking in equal or greater measure. Just forget the questionable church policies that created them and appreciate them as the works of art they are.

Weekend in Naples Part 2: Buses, Art, Pizza,

Wrong South, but you get the idea

          In order to accurately write about the places I've been, I feel it's necessary to touch on the negative experiences as well as the positive ones, which brings me to Neapolitan transportation. The public transportation in Naples kinda sucks and it's really the only way to get around the region without a car or paying a ridiculous amount of money for a taxi. The trains are old, dingy and graffitied on the outside and look like they haven’t changed in 20-30 years on the inside. Both the trains and buses are dirty and a little scary. I felt like washing my hands and taking a shower after spending all day on the Metro. I admit I don’t like buses in general and I hate feeling dirty, so I might have a lower tolerance for this than some people, but I think the rest of group felt the same way. And that’s not to mention the sketchy people we were crammed in with. There was at least one instance of someone trying to pickpocket us and there were a lot of—let’s say, suspicious-looking people. I kept a tight grasp on my babies (my wallet and phone) the whole time.

The Italian teenagers we shared an uncomfortable bus ride with

On one bus ride, we were crammed in like sardines with a ton of rowdy Italian teenagers going out on a Saturday night (the drinking age is much lower here), which was, as you can imagine, unpleasant, especially considering that when the bus showed up, we had to literally run to the bus and push and shove our way through the door just to get on the bus. Thankfully, they only rode a few stops while we had to take it much farther.

            The one good story I have about public transportation is during the train ride from our hostel to Sorrento. At one of the stops, a group of musicians boards and played traditional music in the middle of the car. There was a saxophonist, a couple percussionists, a trumpeter, and an accordion player, I think. It reminded me of a mariachi band, but playing more Italian-style music. It made the train ride just that much better.

The metro station in Portici, where our hostel was

         The transportation is reflective of the different flavor Naples has compared to Rome. It reminds you that Italy has only been a unified country for 150 years and there are still clear regional differences. Naples has historically been a poorer, working class community and this shows. Once you get out of Napoli, the region reminds me more of how I imagined Eastern Europe than Italy.  There are also many older, dingy and falling down-looking buildings covered graffiti. There was also a lot of agricultural land, which I wasn’t expecting. I remember seeing a goat hanging out in someone’s backyard and saying, “Look, it’s a goat!” but no one really cared and the locals all looked at me weird.

Downtown Napoli

         On the final day, we decided to explore the city of Napoli. The different vibe the region has is also seen in the city. It was colorful and vibrant and definitely different than Rome. The shop employees seemed less likely to speak English and there are less upscale, touristy restaurants. Though it has its fair share of tourists, it's less glossy and Westernized and therefore seemed to show a more unadulterated view of Italian culture.

         I was totally fine with this though. Before I came here, when I pictured “Italy” in my head, the image I had looked a hell of a lot more like Napoli than Rome. Rome feels like a lot of other big cities I’ve been too, with certainly some differences, but Napoli, and really southern Italy in general, is where it hit me that I was unmistakably in another country. Don't get me wrong, I love Rome so far and I really liked Napoli, but they're different. I feel like I would've experienced much more culture shock had I gone to Napoli first.

        Since we were all carrying our heavy bags, we didn’t get to see the much of the city, but I really liked what I saw.

        We visited the Archeological Museum there because it was free for the day. It’s apparently one of the largest collections of Roman and Greek artifacts in the world. There is room after room of huge classical statues and art ranging from frescos to mosaics and it’s all amazing. My favorite thing there were the classical statues, for two reasons. First, holy crap, man. How do you go from a slab of marble to an insanely detailed and beautiful piece of art? Often times the sculptors didn’t go as far as the pupils in the eyes, but otherwise, everything else was so detailed, they might as well have just been marble melted over the actual people like in the cheesy 50s horror movie, House of Wax. I sometimes just stopped and stared at the statues and marveled at how intricate they all are. To create even one of them must have taken years of extremely hard work and a lot more patience and dedication than I have for art. Second, the faces are often amusingly expressive. Take these examples:

That was one of my favorite parts about the museum and general: the goofy quirks the artwork had. You can show me a picture of the Mona Lisa 100 times but I’d much rather see insane art like this: 

Like, what the hell is even going on here? There’s white and black people, that’s fairly obvious. But but one is riding a croc and another is killing a hippo and the hippo’s eating another one and then there’s just this dead body laying there. Oh, and everyone's head is disproportionally large. This painting is pure chaos. I looked and laughed at this thing for a couple minutes just trying to figure out what was going on. Needless to say, this was probably my favorite piece of art in the museum. 

Pizzaria Donna Sophia's Bella Napoli pizza

         Pizza was invented in Naples, so naturally we had to get a lot of it while we were there. Neapolitan pizza is wetter and the toppings are more liquid-y than in America. The best pizza we had was in Napoli, just before we left. I ordered a pizza with ham, fresh tomatoes, arugula, and local cheese. This thing has to be one of the best pizzas I’ve ever had. The tomatoes especially were delicious. These were  some of the ripest, sweetest, juiciest tomatoes I've ever had. I at the whole thing, probably against better judgment, and left Napoli extremely satisfied.

       Overall, the places we went and things we saw were amazing, but getting there and getting around were less than amazing. Still a good trip in my book.