The tales are fake cause it's not actually San Francisco.
I love San Francisco. It's a great city with many unique, unmistakable features. A few highlights are:
The hills:

The cable cars:

The specialty dessert shops:

The beautiful architecture:
The gorgeous bay:
The seafood:
The massive bridge connecting the two ends of the bay:
And of course, who could forget the famous, one-of-a-kind, Golden Gate Bridge:
Oh wait. Never mind. That's Lisbon, Portugal.
Lisbon is Europe's answer to San Francisco. Or, San Francisco is America's answer to Lisbon. I'm not sure which. It seems like a chicken/egg thing because while Lisbon is much older, there are a lot of modern features the two cities have in common, such as the bridge that looks too much like the Golden Gate to be a coincidence. The similarities are too uncanny to ignore. It started when I'd see something in Lisbon and think, "hey! This reminds me of San Francisco" and the similarities kept piling up over the weekend.
I didn't know that much about Lisbon or Portugal when I booked my trip there, but it was listed on some website as one of the best value cities in Europe and the flights were relatively cheap, so I decided to go for a weekend. It was great.
Here's some of my notes about the city, other than the fact that it's Europe's San Francisco:
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| The hill down from Barrio Alto |
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| The hill down from my hostel |
Hills, hills, and more hills: You need a topographical map to explore Lisbon. My hostel was a quarter mile from one of the trendy neighborhoods in town, Barrio Alto. What they don't tell you is that while it is a quarter mile away, that quarter mile involves going all the way down a hill and all the way up an even steeper one. "Barrio Alto" literally translates to "high neighborhood," so I'm not sure what I expected.
Every day is leg day in Lisbon. I guarantee you will walk up at least one steep hill per day if you do the city on foot at all. It's just part of life there. It'll leave your legs extremely sore by the end of the weekend, but it's a good workout and it justifies splurging on the food.
The Portuguese can be called many things, but "good drivers" is not one of them: They're on a par with Roman drivers and possibly a bit worse. You kinda have to time it and run if you want to cross the street when there's no stoplight.
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| Rossio Square, where a lot of this happens |
Waiters and drug dealers are aggressive: I couldn't go through Rossio Square or any other main area of town without hearing someone ask me, "hashish?" Sometimes it was just a passing whisper as I walked by, but other times guys would call me out and be like, "Hey, buddy! Hashish? Marijuana?" while walking towards me, showing a small bag of weed or a lighter in their palm. Restaurant waiters in the tourist area are also bad about this. I stopped once to glance at a menu and after realizing it was too pricey and probably not that great, I walked away and a lady came out and shouted, "Sir! Come back!" so I turned around and she said, "why don't you want to eat
here??" like it was of some great offense to her. All this freaked me out at first, but by the end of the first day, I realized that Lisbon's vendors are slightly shadier versions of the people who stop and ask you if you want to donate to save the oceans or something like that. You just have to look forward and ignore them and they won't pursue you any further. It's an acquired skill. Shoutout to the gay rights activists and CALPIRG at UC Davis for preparing me for Lisbon.
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Vasco da Gama's tomb in the St.
Jerome church in Belem |
The Portuguese love Vasco da Gama: He was an explorer in the 16th Century who put Portugal on the map and paved the way for its large colonial empire. His remains are on display in the St. Jerome church, one of the statues in the Belem area shows him leading all the other figures out towards sea, and many roads and buildings bare his name. I have to think he is linked with national pride, something that has not always been easy to come by in Portugal, particularly in the last century.
A lot of people speak English well: I was shocked at how many people in Lisbon spoke English really well. While people do in Spain and Italy, it's usually pretty broken, but in Portugal, I'd ask someone if they spoke English and they'd understand what I was saying and respond clearly. This made getting around a lot easier, considering I knew absolutely no Portuguese coming to Lisbon. It's an interesting language. It's kinda like Spanish, but it sounds more like French when it's spoken, but it nonetheless confused the hell out of me.
The Food:
-Cervejeria Ramiro: Since it's, you know, kind of in a bay, Lisbon is known for its seafood. The specialty dish is bachalau, which is salted cod. I didn't have any because I'm not a big fan of seafood. Still, I felt like I had to eat something from the ocean while in Lisbon, so I went to a famous restaurant called Cervejaria Ramiro. I'd heard of it because travel show host Anthony Bourdain goes there in an episode where he visits Lisbon. The place is pretty easy to spot because of the long line outside. I waited about 25-30 minutes, but this seems to be the norm and part of the Ramiro experience.
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Said display case of seafood I sat next to. My garlic shrimp was
the picture I used for "seafood" in the intro. |
I sat right next to a display case where they kept live seafood. A chef would occasionally come by, open the lid, and take a lobster out and take it to the kitchen to be cooked. I also heard from a fellow tourist that the restaurant has giant tanks in its basement where it breeds all the animals it cooked. This means it's extremely fresh, which is a great sign. I'd been eying the garlic shrimp (shrimp is one of the few types of seafood I like) from the moment I saw the menu earlier in the day, so that's what I ordered. It was delicious. You could definitely tell how fresh these shrimp were. They were meaty, just the right level of tenderness, and above all, smothered in garlic. If you like seafood, I feel like Ramiro is kind of a must. It's pricier than a lot of places, but not unreasonable.
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The inside of the restaurant. The grill is
against the wall. |
-Frangasqueira Nacional: The best meal I had in Portugal was from a place called Frangasqueira Nacional. It's a place tucked away pretty far from most of the action of the center of town on a side street, marked by only a simple banner in front. The restaurant itself is one room, divided by the counter. There are two tiny chairs, but otherwise no seating whatsoever. The other three quarters of the room contained the register, a prep station with a cutting board, and a pretty big grill that had several birds, ribs, and sausages grilling at any given time. There was one cook, who would move the birds across the grill.

Once he thought they were done, he would lift the bird off the grill with a pair of tongs and masterfully scissor it into bite sized pieces in a few quick and deliberate snips. He would then put it in the tin and brush it first with a yellow/green oil and then with a red oil before giving it to the customer. I had to wait a while because of some big orders they had, but I didn't mind because this process was mesmerizing. I ordered a mishta, or mixed plate, which had half a bird plus ribs (he gave me two extra because he said he could tell I was a nice guy) and a sausage, with a side of homemade potato chips. Lunch was a glorious feast of meat. I don't know what they do to their meat, but it was incredible. I walked away satisfied and extremely stuffed. I finished lunch about 1:30 and wasn't hungry again until around 9:00.
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| A pastel de nata |
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Pasteis de Belem: The last notable place I went was a pastry shop called Pasteis de Belem. It's been open since the 1830s and it's where the Portuguese specialty pastry, the pastel de nata, was invented. To say a pastel de nata is a custard cup wouldn't be doing it justice, but I'm not sure how else to describe it. The sugar is burnt and caramelized on top and the surrounding pastry is so flaky and gives just enough of a crunch before it gives way to the sweet, fluffy custard center. This is another place that almost always has a line, but it moves quickly and with pastries this good and this cheap (1 euro each), it's worth it. The history behind the bakery makes the pastry even better, knowing that you are getting THE original.
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The beer: The icing on the cake of the delicious food is the fact that the Portuguese beers are really good. There are two: Super Bock and Sagres. I really liked both of them. They're your run of the mill mass-produced beers, but I felt like they were a pretty big step above the standards I've had in Italy and Spain. I think Super Bock is better, but I wouldn't complain if I had either in my glass.
The Sights:
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The Castelo de São Jorge: The castle is the best thing to do in town, if you ask me. You have to climb to the top of a really steep hill (It's Lisbon. You should be expecting this) and I think the entrance is something like 8 euro, but it's absolutely worth the money. You get a beautiful view of the bay and the city,first and foremost, and then you get to go up and climb around in a FREAKING CASTLE. How cool is that??? If you don't think climbing around in a castle and getting views of Lisbon is cool, then you're beyond lame and frankly, not someone I want to be friends with.
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| The St. Jerome monastery/church in Belem |
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Belem: Belem is district about 4 miles from the main area of town, a 15 minute train ride away. I went to Belem expecting to spend an hour or two, but I ended up spending about 4 hours there. The two famous landmarks of the area are the Torre de Belem and the St. Jerome Monastery. The St. Jerome Monastery is a huge, gorgeous gothic-style church. I think it's more impressive from the outside, but it is also really beautiful on the inside and admission is free, so there's no reason not to go in. It's definitely up there with my favorite churches in Europe. The Torre de Belem is sort of a mix between a lighthouse and a castle. It looks like a castle, but was used to keep watch over the bay and make sure nobody unwanted came through the harbor. I didn't go in because I'm cheap, but it was still cool to look at from the outside.

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The Expo Area: I actually stumbled across this area on accident, because I wanted to go to the aquarium (it got a ton of great reviews on TripAdvisor) and while I did go to the aquarium, the Expo sights around it were even better. Apparently Lisbon hosted the World Expo some time in the 90s and this area is where it was held, so it's full of really cool, futuristic-looking buildings. It feels pretty empty (though I was there in the morning), but it's really cool to walk around.
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| From an Observation point in Barrio Alto |
Lisbon was awesome. It was one of those cities that I just had a good feeling about before visiting, and I wasn't let down at all. I had three great days and would definitely go back next time I'm in Europe and would definitely recommend it a heartbeat. It was historical, beautiful, and full of life, food, and culture. You can't ask for much more from a city.
It's also now become a goal of mine to tell someone about my weekend in Lisbon in a vague enough way to make them think I'm talking about San Francisco.